I suppose you’d need to admit that you have lost control, if you intend to read farther…

And what is control anyway? It was always fake, right? I mean, you get the house cleaned, balance your checkbook – and you sit back and say, boy, howdy, I am in control! But on another day, when you don’t get that stuff done, have you lost control? Or, even though you get that stuff done every day, something comes along, like my current favorite – RTO (return to office) – and now you’ve got an hour’s worth of commuting, which you used to use to balance your checkbook, but now, there’s just no time!

So, you say, with exasperation, “there is just no time.”. And so now, you’re not in control?

Well, the Hindus would tell you that’s samsara – it’s a cycle of chasing control, by doing things, setting goals – all the things your society tells you to do to get ahead. But you don’t get ahead – you get further behind.

Last night, couldn’t sleep, and I was reminded of a valuable truth: the reason you are unhappy is because you look for happiness in the future, not in the present. Luckily, at that moment, in the deep dark of night, I was sleeping with my warm furry dog by my legs, and my warm and loving wife by my side, with my beautiful and vivacious daughter asleep in her room down the hall. And so, I was easily able to recount all the happiness that was around me, in my immediate present. And so, was happy, and went to sleep.

Now, there have been times, I tell you, people, when I was totally alone in the night, with no money, no heat, no lovely wife, no dog, and no daughter. So don’t be fooled, or, better yet, don’t be dismayed. Happiness is not counted by the number of blessings. Instead, it’s a kind of contentment with what ever you do have, no matter the number or quantity. Because in those destitute times, I did have a warm bed, and I could feel the world around me, full of wonder, and full of love. But I had to open my mind and heart to feel that, and I had to let the material wants melt away. Not an easy task – seemingly impossible for many.

And again, at my worst times, without even the warm bed, I could always remember that my mother loved me, when she was alive. And that is not the future, nor the past. It’s ever-present.

Hate to put out a spoiler, but, you never had control, if you were busy counting up the things you controlled in your life. Without your knowing, the number of things you will NEVER control loomed like a zeppelin above your resting head. Control is a losing game, probably planted in your mind when you were very young, unintentionally, by a society locked in a battle for control – control as the carrot on the stick, which you will never taste, but always yearn for.

Looked at a different way, as long as you can know the peace of the present, as long as you can feel it, know it, and live in it, then you are indeed in control, and will always be, as long as the contentment with what (little or a lot) you do have is apparent and tangible to you. Peace.