Because G*d isn’t a business. G*d is not an old man with a beard, unless that’s how you imagine him. G*d is omniscient – knows everything; omnipresent – everywhere; omnipotent – all powerful. Surely you’ve heard this before. But even the priests, ministers, pastors, who say this in one breath, in the next breath tell you to ask G*d for help, for favors, Christmas presents… The two notions just don’t match.

You don’t need to tell an omniscient consciousness your needs or wants – because “all knowing”.

You don’t need to pray “to” an omnipresent being, because “everywhere.”

G*d is responsible for everything everywhere – your cell mitosis and your cancer diagnosis. “responsible” does not equal “cause.” As far as we know, we exercise freewill. So if you pour garbage into the clean body you were given, G*d lets those cells do their thing. Don’t pray for that to change.

Then there’s G*d’s plan. G*d is also ineffable. Sorry we’ve lost that word through our poor educational system. It means it’s not possible to explain G*d. Doesn’t mean we just don’t know how to explain G*d – it means there is no human with the capacity to explain the Creator of Everything. So, might be smart to stop trying. Anyway, what good would it do you?

These are the building blocks. But the best building block is this: Jesus actually told you how to pray! Jesus didn’t really leave us a lot of information – or, you could say, he left us just enough. First, he pared down the 10 commandments – they weren’t his, and were probably made up by Moses, or the politburo that represented Moses – these “commandments” seem a lot like human laws, and coincide neatly with the Jewish norms at the time. Always gotta be suspicious when some guy says “G*d agrees with everything I say.” Convenient for an authoritarian system.

But totally the opposite of what we said above: free will. No, G*d doesn’t tell you not to do anything. Go for it! And for sure, the human machinery – the way humans work – will deliver to you the consequences of your actions – not G*d.

Jesus said you only need two “commandments”: love G*d with all your heart, mind, spirit. Any questions? And then: “love your ‘neighbor’ as much and in the same way as you love yourself.” And then the kicker: “on (just) these two commands hang all the law and the prophets.” The Jewish Torah is divided into the Law and the Prophets (so is the old testament: Deuteronomy means the (second) law; and all the books with names on them are Prophets). So, this is also a hard thing for us modern dummies: it’s called (in math) a “discreet system.” Means you don’t need ANY MORE RULES than the two I gave you. All other rules you could think of derive from those two, so you don’t need to add them.

Jesus told you how to pray. The Lord’s Prayer. That’s the only thing you need. There are no other prayers in the New Testament – except for a couple of little ones, but again, they are connected with the Lord’s Prayer.

1. “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” This is Jesus choking up just before he is nailed to a crucifix, saying, “skip me on this one.” But – and this is the big but – he adds the clause from the Lord’s Prayer: “Thy will be done.” He doesn’t expect G*d to not go through with the great plan, which requires a sacrifice – but, never hurts to ask.
2. “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” A prayer-lite for the sake of the Love of the Neighbor. Also – directly from the Lord’s Prayer!

That’s it! No “please give me that bike for Christmas”, or “please let my son get into Harvard.” Zero (0) requests! It’s not Oprah! Not Grant a Wish! It’s like this

1. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done. Do what you intend to do – not what WE ask you to do. On earth, just like in heaven. Even if you escape earth, the same deal is in heaven for you.
2. Give us today our daily bread. Ok. Maybe this is an “ask” – except in the original language – Aramaic (remember Jesus was not a Hebrew) – it’s not “daily” – people argue about this a lot, but mostly about the translation from Greek – which is not the language Jesus said it in. Give us today maybe our last meal – ever. Remember, it’s ok and entirely possible that we will die TODAY, and that’s a good thing. “Daily” is really the wrong word, and confuses the whole meaning. Look at what follows: 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them… 34 Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself…
3. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Again, back to the “commandments.” First thing is to US: You there! You forgive everybody. Forgiveness is the rule, thy neighbor as thyself. But we can and should ask G*d for forgiveness.
4. Lead us not into temptation. Again, this is more you talking to yourself – don’t let yourself be led by something else – into something that will harm you.
5. Deliver us from evil. Not sure on this one. Reminds by of George W. and the “axis of Evil.” Not sure that this was passed down correctly. But ok. G*d does indeed have the power (all-powerful) to quash “evil.” The main point is, it does not mean ” make that car swerve out of the way of my child in the street.” That’s not evil: it’s freewill – your child knows the rules, and still goes out into the street. Something painful might happen. Not G*d’s deal.

That’s it: 1) let it happen 2) get me through today 3) let’s forgive one another 4) let us choose wisely 5) let us choose wisely. It’s a “personal oracle” – a conversation with everything around you, that echos back to YOU. You are G*d, as long as you are Love.