Saw a man wearing a North Face shirt with a Starbucks jacket and carrying an Adidas bag He was too old to be a brand whore? Hey, who’s the judge here?

“Fury said to a mouse that he met in the house, ‘Let us both go to law: _I_ will prosecute _you_. Come, I’ll take no denial: we must have a trial: for really this morning I’ve nothing to do.’ Said the mouse to the cur, ‘Such a trial, dear sir, with no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath.’ ‘I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury,’ said cunning old Fury: ‘I’ll try the whole cause, and condemn you to death.'”

I keep on puzzling about this (like Alice): what motivates that guy? I mean, what motivates him to buy and wear those branded clothes? And why so many at the same time? I don’t think he knows.

I used to wear Adidas – like a freak. There was a shop on South Beach called Addidas Style, or some shit, and they specialilzed in specialized (Addidan stuff). I don’t do this anymore. Occasionally these days I slip back – like wearing 59/50 baseball hats – bought like 20 of them last year – not only 59/50, but with Boston RedSox and Celtics logos! What motivates me?

Then there was the frightened white girl with her Muslim headware (*hijab*) and presumably Muslim baby. She so frightened that she will be rejected, always has been rejected, until some Muslim guy found her, collected her, implanted his seed. She clinging to some myth or image – that being Muslim is cooler, at least more noticble, than being just another plain white girl. Nothing against her or Islam. The hijab DOES make her look cooler. But it does not maker her cooler, and, why is she trying? She’s not just trying – it means all the world to her, because no one ever told her how to look inside (to find her cool identity). At first the baby was losing i – crying, 6 a.m. in Boston Logan, but then, good mom, got her quiet (safe), cooing, happy.

But all is well us long as we have faith. Without faith there is no meaning – assume there is no meaning, fundamentally, then get faith and you will feel yoursself a part of the greater universe – that someone (the all-in-one) loves you. Your mother still loves you, dead or alive. Your father the same. All your long-dead realitive love you and want the best for you – they always did, but during their lives, they were possibly consumed by fear, manifested and hate and judgement – but neither was true. Every emotion is created solely by biochemical reaction – emotions are feelings, wholly biological. When you die, then, they all disappear. If, while alive, you blocked your adrenalin, you would not/could not get angry. We all take beta blockers, don’t we? We are blocking the hormones, and there is NO OTHER CAUSE for emotions. Except for love.

Why do I say that? Take a moment and figure out what an emotion really is. Start with anger – it’s easy. Somebody says something, and then, all of a sudden, you feel anger. You argue and yell for 20 minutes – and you realize that you have strayed far from “the cause” of the anger, or, you fogot it altogether. The words were not the cause – they were the sensory input, which the brain connected to adrenalin, and produced a physical (literally) feeling – and then you were off! The mind checked out. Only the body kept the feed going.

But love? A feeling? No, a thousand feelings, one of which is hate – you can’t hate someone you don’t love (because it would make no difference to them or you, if there weren’t love). Do you hate Trump? Well, something triggered you at some point, there were chemicals, the dumb brain had to do something, and it settled on “hate” – but is hate the opposite of love? Think about it carefully. Doesn’t hate feel like anger? Or love? Does hate really have a unique quality, or is it just anger, with a narrative context?

I don’t know. But love doesn’t come and go, with a little self-control. The love I know consumes you, mentally, physically, and spiritually. You stutter to define it. You feel it in you and all around you. No text causes it. Nothing that is said or done. Do you ever say “I am in anger with you?” “I am in hate with you?” Right? Feel me? I am in LOVE – in it! Can’t get out, can’t breath. Said Eminem:

“With you, I’m in my fucking mind. Without you, I’m out it”

Ok, it’s “with”, not “in” But tell me what that song is about. Love. All the other things, the violence, the words, the pain, the endless self-pity – all instigate by love, or, love as an excuse? Because all those things come and go, and yet you stay – in love.

May you always stay in love. Open to it. That is faith.